Kate's Journal
by chicanita11
Summary: Kate's journal entries throughout her pregnancy, hacked by Castle most of the time. AU
1. Chapter 1

April 17,2013

Married and expecting (finally)! A year into our marriage and here we are starting a family with Alexis in college and happy. Never would I have thought, in my whole life that I would be married to Richard freaking Castle, let alone having his babies. Yes babies, it's still hard to believe. Writing it down seems to help me and it sinks in a little bit more. Babies as in plural, 4 to be exact. Though it wouldn't have happened without the help, treatments and what-not. Gosh, I remember the days as if they were yesterday, the pain of not being able to conceive and thinking something was wrong with us…. Oh god we got ourselves into some trouble here, wanting only one and in the end we find out we're getting three more than planned. I knew we should have only implanted two, but NO Castle always comes up with his great ideas "Kate come on it won't hurt what are the odds of all of them attaching" well look at me know! Although still surprised, I'm happy, really happy. Oh I can see myself now bigger and not being able to get up from my desk chair, oh man and Castle following me every everywhere and looking over my shoulder like he's doing now!

If you're reading this Rick as I know you are, stop hovering and go do something productive! Love you

Anyways, the kids, 8 weeks and already I'm showing. Good thing everyone at the precinct knew we were trying. If they didn't I'm sure the constant visits to the doctor would have given us away, and now for sure they would know with the tummy and all. Getting tired… gonna take a nap…

Wahaha Kate's asleep and left her computer open! All I'm gonna write is, and I know you're going to read this. Honey you look so beautiful, you have a glow which makes me not want to take my eyes off of you. Knowing that you're carrying my kids make me feel mushy. And I was reading what you were writing, and I can SO see you not being able to stand up from a chair…hahaha love you too


	2. Chapter 2

April 23, 2011

Annoyed, tired, irritated, lonely and so many other words I've been these days. There are 2 cases open which seem to be going nowhere. I missed my doctor appointment because of following a lead but that's not why I really missed it. I missed it because I had to pee and I couldn't wait! That's why I missed it because of Pee! I still can't believe it. Rick is on a mini book tour up state, promoting all his books and I'm here all alone with no one around, but that's just here at the loft. I don't even want to talk about being at the precinct. Everyone just hovers which annoys the heck out of me I already have Rick doing that and now I have to worry about my co-worker. "Hey beckett, how are you feeling? Want me to get you a snack? Do ya need help?" I'm not an invalid I can do those things myself, but then again it just shows me how much they care, and its sweet. To top it all off this morning I couldn't button my pants, and I mean I knew it was coming, they had been tight for a while and my pouch is a pouch now but I was trying to hold off buying new clothes. Guess I can now plan that much awaited shopping day with Lanie. And here comes the sad part of my long horrible tiered someday, I have to remove my belly ring! The pain I endured for some days, not only from the actual act but pain my ears got when my parents found out.

Being alone makes me restless, and my mind is surfing with thought. But I need rest and I want a smorelett. Oh man these kids have their dad's stomach and weird taste buds.


	3. Chapter 3

_You guys thank you so much for your reviews they make my day. heres another one hope you like._

April 27, 2013

Ah Ha! Finally able to crack her password. Who would have thought that she would change it to what she's craving lately. Okay so I got back from my trip and what do I find when I get home? Nada. The loft lonely and I swear I could hear tinny tiny footsteps, like mice! But then I thought to myself why would there be mice here of all places so it must have been in my imagination. So back to me coming home it was quiet to quiet, so as I made my way to our bed room bam! Just like that I hear the front door open. I have to tell myself I knew she wasn't home, who would want to stay in a nice cozy loft and snuggle with a blanket while pregnant, well I'll tell you who. Her name is Kate.

She changed so much and I was only gone for four days, she got bigger and she now talks to the babies. It's so sweet, that night when I got home I got to see it and it just about broke my heart. It made me forget about her staying at the precinct so late. Right now as we speak ( or write to myself in someone else's journal) she's working, I should be there but who would pass by on an opportunity to read what she writes, I tell you who me. Some very interesting things I have found out, 1. She doesn't like being alone 2. Her doctor told her to gain 70lbs between now and up until she's about 15 weeks

3. And she hasn't told me this which she should. They are considering her pregnancy high risk because she's having 4. Gah! I'm having 4 kids…. I can't breathe, oh my gosh 4! I need a doctor I'm having a panic attack….


	4. Chapter 4

_Again thanks for the reviews they mean a lot, I love that you guys like the entries. They're really fun to write. _

Continued April 27 (Kate)

So it looks like I'm going to have to change my password once again since a certain someone knows my current one. (Rick) imagine me writing something super embarrassing and him reading it, I would never live it down. Maybe I could change it to 'one writer girl' ….nope that would be too easy; I'll have to think about it. It's not going to be easy though. Let see what's worth writing, we closed a case. Not the way I wanted to though. Gates made us close it since it went cold and we didn't get the killer. Let's just say I didn't take it well and ended up storming off, ending in Lanie morgue. It was just a small mood swing, I was done and over it by the time I saw Lanie and that smirk on her face. She just looked me up and down, came up to me and pulled my shirt up. She pointed at my pants and laughed. She laughed at a hormonal pregnant lady whose carrying 4 babies, which are growing like crazy if I might add. Ahhh! Anyways, she helped me out though, showed me a trick so I wouldn't have to buy new clothes until at least two weeks. All I have to do is tie a rubber band to the loop and stretch it across to the button. It seems to work so far, but I have a feeling that pretty soon it's not going to work anymore at the rate that I'm eating right now, nope it's not. That was a couple of days ago, when Rick arrived. Now when he got home, it was eventful. There were some tears, because he almost, almost said I looked big, there was some loving, and then there was the shirt. Oh that shirt. White with 4 heads and across it says " be nice to me I'm carrying quadruplets" excited to give it to me, yep he was, like a little kid at Christmas. It was great. Like castle mentioned above scary but true maybe writing it will make it less scary, apparently this is a high risk pregnancy, I'm healthy as a horse so it's not that no it's because there's four and one of me and it involves a little bit more than a regular pregnancy. Ah and the worst they told me I have to gain around 50- 100lbs throughout the whole thing! I'm sure it's not going to be hard, castle will make sure I eat my meals and more but really that's a lot, it's worth it that's what I tell myself. This pregnancy is going to be the end of me, I can already feel my whole body ache, and don't talk to me about back pains. They suck period. Also of importance, note to self. Kate you have to last up to 32 weeks and that's an order, hopefully more than.

Note to self-try not leaving laptop out in the open, and change password. Although I do love reading what he writes, maybe I'll just…..


	5. Chapter 5

_I don't know how I feel about this one, I figure they would just take turns with writing in the same entry, but IDK tell me what you think._

May 17, 2013

It's a sad reality, but Kate has to stop working. I can know do my happy dance. She's 12 weeks and the doctor said "stop at 15 weeks…." I spaced out after that, it was a lot of mumbo jumbo; I just wanted to see my kids. Which are beautiful I might add, even if they look like small grainy aliens swimming in space goo. To my surprise Kate never changed her password; I think it was a silent agreement on our part. Writing everything down that happened, something that we look forward to reading in the future. It's awesomely fun too. Since the last time she wrote big things have happened. For one she can no longer see her feet, and she looks like she swallowed a basketball. It's so funny, AND she wobbles. It's always adorable to see the look on her face when I tell her so, she just looks up at me, my little shorty and I can't even explain the look she get.

Kate's eating cake right now and wants her computer back.

4months, I can't see my feet, I have a completely new wardrobe, I just about eat anything that's in my view, I have to stop working soon, doc said 15 weeks but I'm thinking more like 18. Life couldn't get any better right now right? Over the past 3 weeks I gained weight, got to see the babies more than once( they are all bunched up inside of me it looks so weird, but cute) had to get new shoes, all flats for work and some tennis shoe, and we bought the cribs which sadly but true didn't all fit in the guest room. What to do know? Rick said buy a house, something to think about, yet a very good idea.

Very good idea it is indeed Kate.


	6. Chapter 6

May 30, 2013

My feet are killing me, the case is killing me, and I'm killing me. Days have been long with another hard case, which seems to be heading the same way as the other one did nowhere. The things we know so far are that the victim, Sofia Campos 29, had no enemies that would want her dead. She has no family which we know of, and we can't find her family apparently she was left in a church bench when she was just a newborn. We're stuck, I'm stuck. Castle has a bunch of theories though. But none that we can actually support with the evidence that we have, which is minimum. This is so stressful, now I know why everyone wants me to stop working already, other than the fact that I can't really move around that much anymore. As for how I'm killing myself, arg, my back hurts because I was sitting most of the day, my feet hurt like crap and seem to not fit in my shoes, I'm actually thinking about wearing slippers to work from now on. I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. And there are times when I don't want to eat because I know that I already ate, but then it's like torture, and I end up eating and I feel bad because I should have eaten when I first felt hungry because now the babies are getting less nutrients from me and it caused for a major meltdown., and those are never pretty, enough ranting, so this morning I woke up and for a minute there I forgot I was pregnant, I have no idea how that's even possible. The moment passed though, seconds later I feel Castles hand finding its way over my belly saying "I think you grew a bit" all groggy but with a childish voice. If I wasn't in a good mood then I would have bitten his head off.

We, more like me, are waiting patiently for the kids to move already. I don't know how Kate can't be inpatient. But then I get it she doesn't want 4 little people using her as a punching bag. This morning I woke up and I swear she got a little bit bigger, I think I'm going to start to measure her every week, wont that get on her nerves.

Note to self: stock up on food, there's seems to be someone who keeps on eating everything and leaves not junk food for movie night. *Kate* cough, cough


	7. Chapter 7

_Oh, wow ! It's been for ever since I've updated but school and life got in the way. Quick note, started a FB page for Alternate Travel Project: Goshen Indiana Edition which is just like a continuation to The Alternative Travel Project by Stana, It would be awesome if you guys could like the page and support it._

June 12, 2013

It was quick! But I swear I felt it, like a flutter or like when my stomach grumbles when it's hungry. One of them kicked! I was sitting in my chair at the precinct, (yep still working, not going to stop until I can't get up off my bed. Kidding! Gosh it was a joke Rick! And stop reading what I'm typing) Anyways, so I was sitting there going in circles, since I was all alone Espo and Ryan where out on a lead and Rick was making himself some ….coffee….. Gosh how I miss that yummy tasty coffee….. And bam! It happened. Oh the look on Ricks face through the window when he hears me gasp and touch the monster that is my growing belly. I could have sworn if he had the mug in his hands he would have dropped it. He came lightning fast over to my side. So funny, he was frantic "Kate! Kate! Is it time? Oh my gosh its time, where are my keys! People she's having the babies, what it's too soon omygosh babies!" ….. Just thinking about it makes me crack up all over again, it wasn't until I stood up and slapped some sense into him that he calmed down, and stopped pacing. Since this morning I think I felt each one of them kick and Ricks hand has been there for most of kicks. Except when one moved right by my bladder and I had to move it to the bathroom or else someone would have had an accident on the sofa. Now off to bed, doctor appointment tomorrow morning, another ultrasound! Yay!

**They finally moved. I could feel them; it feels so much more real now. Four human babies are growing and living inside Kate. And they're growing fast might I add, slim tall beautiful Kate look quite funny, like she ate a basketball and it's just sitting there in here stomach. Back to the moving people in Kate! When she gasped and grabbed her tummy I thought it was time. I mean come on who wouldn't she had this look….. On her face. Yea keep on snickering Kate I can see you from here, why am I typing this is she can't even see this. Well it serves to say that I thought it was time, and I was running around like a mad man. Screaming out orders like the man I am, that just mad even me laugh, I was scared shitless. It's way too early for my globs to come out yet.**


	8. Chapter 8

_Hope you guys like it, I feel iffy about it since I wrote it late at night. Let me know what you think._

June 13

The trip to the Doc didn't really go as planned. Kate it's underweight, the babies are developing fine but they are still two small apparently even smaller than others. This news didn't really settle well with Kate. I tell her it's not her fault she had a small frame to begin with and her food intake wasn't as good, but she's got it in her head that something must be wrong with her since she can't even get her kids to grow right, her words not mine. We go to see them again, I was hoping we'd get to know the gender but they block our view each time we get close to knowing. Crossing my fingers and toes that we're able to find out during our next visit in a week and a half. What else one of the babies is what looks like to be breach, but things might change before its time for the birth if not we are looking at a C-Section. Hmmm, I didn't really ask if we could have an all-natural birth. I wonder if Kate could handle it, I'm gonna put it on the table and see what she thinks. Awe, just look at her she fell asleep reading, again. Looks like she's not going to write tonight.

Note: start looking for baby names, also finish nursery all you have done is the cribs and paint for Pete sake!

June 14 (3am)

What is it about sleep that every time I wake up I'm in need of a snack. Now here I find myself eating Nutter butters and writing. I should be working on the paper work I bought home instead though. My train of thought isn't on the same path right now I think I might need to go to sleep again right before I use the potty. Maybe even eat another snack, some fruit, an apple. Since apparently I have to gain some more weight for these little ones to grow some more, gosh I feel like a failure…. They haven't moved all night which is a little weird.


	9. Chapter 9

June 13 (afternoon)

Kate's worried; there hasn't been any movement from the babies since the early morning. What to do. I want to go to the hospital and check her out, but she wants to wait, maybe call Lanie for some help. Hoping everything is alright with them, going to try and push her. Maybe I can get her to take that trip to the hospital. Don't want anything to happen to them.

Something's wrong, I can feel it and my stomach seemed to have gravitated a little down south. I think it might be time for us to make that trip to the hospital. Just in case. Trying to keep happy thought in my head.

_Its been long since ive posted but life got in the way. Anyways short update, thinking about changing it up and sometimes do journal updates and then doing it in real time, kate and rick that be fine? Review please, they make my day._


	10. Chapter 10

Kate was restless; she didn't know what to do. All she could think about was the fact that something might be wrong with her babies and yet she was so stubborn to let castle take her to the hospital to check her out. Walking around their room she walked toward the closet and got a comfy shirt, one that still fit her and her yoga pants. If she was going to go to the hospital she preferred it if she was comfortable. Getting a small bag out from under the bed she stuffed in things that she thought she might need and walked out to the office to grab the laptop that was sitting out on the desk.

She found castle in the kitchen, making himself a sandwich. Setting the bag on one of the chairs she sat down and looked at him while he worked.

"Hey, what'd you got there?" he said throwing a look in the direction of the black duffel bag.

"hmm? Are you going to make me one of those? …. I was thinking we should held out to the hospital, get checked out, and all. They still haven't moved…." She said down casting a look to the floor. Her hair covering her face for a moment until she finally looked back up.

Dropping everything castle ran out the kitchen straight to the bedroom, stumbling along the way, he grabbed his phone charger grabbed his tennis shoes and went straight back into the kitchen to grab Kate by the arm. Pulling her toward the front door before she could change her mind.

"You didn't need anything from the room right? I go the phone charge so we will both be good. Why are you walking so slow?"

She stopped them at the door and walked back to the kitchen. Putting her hair up in a ponytail, she gave him a stare.

"Ummm Kate? What are you doing?

"Getting your sandwich and eating it. I have everything in this bag which you didn't let me get when you were dragging me out the door" taking a bit off the sandwich she spoke again, her chewing muffling the sound of her voice. "I don't want to panic Rick, if something is wrong with them….. I don't know what I would do. So please let's just keep this as calm as possible and not make a big deal until its needed."

Letting out a breath he looked at her and nodded. "Ok, come on ill grab the bag, lets go. Did you grab the computer, who knows how long we are going to be there might as well write some and you can Journal." He gave her a knowing smile.

"It's not journaling, it's just me putting down things that are in my head, and you know maybe once they are old enough they can read my thoughts or in this case ours. Since someone tends to write where they aren't supposed to."

**Midnight(Same day/night)**

Was in the waiting room for half an hour until they finally called us in. We called the doctor just to let her know what was happening she is set to meet us here in a couple of minutes now.. Nurse told us we get to see you guys again, to make sure you guys are all fine. They checked my vitals; I have high blood pressure which is something to worry about. And we are under careful watch. Your dad hasn't left my sight, even though I know he has to use the restroom. He's been dancing across the room forever, guess he doesn't want to miss anything.


	11. Chapter 11

June 14th

We've been at the hospital for over an hour. It's been a very quiet waiting period, the only sound is the footstep from passing people out in the halls and the monitors that are all hooked up to Kate. Still waiting on getting the sonogram, see if anything is wrong. The nurse has told us its normal for babies not move for quiet sometime, especially in our case where we have four in such a small space, there's really no room for them to move much. If they do Kate wouldn't feel it that much. Hopefully that's just it, and we are overreacting, but I still have that nagging feeling that it might not be that. The nurse, Jenna I think, told us other things that could be wrong. Too many things, I don't even remember.

They put us in a room that's make me feel down. It's too dark, aren't hospitals supposed to make you feel better not the opposite. The colors they use….. The sterile smell makes even me feel sick.

Ah, the nurse is here with the doctor, better shut this off before I get myself in trouble. Plus I need my full attention at them. Kate seems to be off in her own world, not really paying attention to her surroundings.


End file.
